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defanged​/​toothless​/​no longer causally effective

by Paul from Dune

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1.
Trash 01:24
I walk past the trash everyday, the trash and my functional roles are the same, there is no unique thing that it’s like to be me we only bear a difference in name. There is nothing that eases the pain, to realize that in the world you manifest as the same, to be covered in sloth full of waste in the rain, to think all that's inside you is maimed. I'm starting to see i am so plain, that my function is just to cognize and explain, that life has no deeper meaning but to mimic purslane, to be fleshy and distant and vain.
2.
As I knock my enemy onto the ground i want to feel the hyper focus of peace, I will stand with with a smile as my peers go wild I will finally be the king. On the playground i will never be last, I will fight to maintain my rings. I have knocked my sense of self over, I’m enjoying what its like to win. As i knock my enemy onto the ground I feel the rush in my new flexing will. I am finally free with no chains holding me my friends will recognize i have a skill. In my bedroom i will chalk it all up I will recite the scene again and again. I pushed the bully onto the ground in the mud and made him understand who will win.
3.
hey baby wanna date me black water smooth accost lets meet in the stream of my consumption I wanna how much you cost is worth still in joules or heart break with this little left to be lost I wanna be a better person but sometimes one must say fuck it once the longing really hits you nothing can be creep from the closet whether outward aggression or internal fighting In obsolescence and dominion theres a little tiny version of me inside of me but it's not acting any different I want to have a really smooth body so you feel turned on when I talk to you I want steve martin in my cellphone speed dial so that little funny man can talk me through asking you if we could just shut up and let our limbs confuse the start of you and end of me Its so hard to control it but my god presses down my demons and they turn into sebaceous cysts that plague my penis I want a normal life a normal dick a normal sense of resolution I want no more obsession over kisses on the cheek with turquoise lipstick No confusing drunkenness for cordiality or fear I missed it or for vocal chords saying baby don’t you want me I want a Normal sense of knowing when I’m wanted Ive got some friends with some really smooth bodies they all want me to go and talk to you They want me to disregard the personal bubble and tell the truth That I want our lips to confuse the start of u and end of me
4.
I’ve got a thing for the pretty girl in school, I know it might be trite but Im gonna make her think I’m so cool. I’ll take her to the coast and show her what I’m made of, I will make her fall for me. Cause she’s upset with her art school boyfriend, he doesn’t care about anything or her friends, and she’s pissed off by his stupid fucking haircut I’m gonna try to be the rebound so that I can pretend. But it’s not real.
5.
Smoking Pot 01:36
Smoking pot’s my favorite sport I’m so good with dimes, I blaze all day and count my tokes then post them online. Man nothing makes me sad when I’m stoned. Change always muddles happiness though, so that when I take a springtime breather I feel no repose. I just want to keep inhaling the smoke. Smoking Pot’s my favorite past time it opens my mind. I’m a shaman at just sixteen years old, I can see time. The whole world is behind my own eyelids, strong objectivity is in my midst. Sex cash and weed are the only things which are truly divine. True hedonism comes with no regret.
6.
Hanging Out 01:27
I want to be chilling out hanging out just like we were homies, doing dabs smoking crack talking like you know me, making out on my couch no concept of the lonely, feeling glad calling dad knowing that it's only, three more weeks til I’m gone and after that I’m just a memory for commission that all I’ll want for so long is just to be a part of someone's thoughts way out in the future, that nothing’s that bad when you’re young even in reflection. Smoking hash eating cash seeing what your bones mean, fucking fast cumming last making sure my room’s clean, talking back when you ask me about my nose ring, being slack not talking smack because you know it’s only, three more weeks till I’m gone and after that I’m just a body in position, not amoral or wrong, just stagnant of perception and impression in your recall, that it feels so good to latch on to the distant future.
7.
god this demon is strange, it fills me with a hopefulness on the first day of the rest of my life, It makes me forget all the proper names of the enemies and history that make me the aggressor that I have become, oh transition of transition from memory to none, there’s a flavor in the water but i can’t tell which one. God this demon is strange it stares at me as I stare at Claire with a smirk here and there, heading off in her direction I’m so fertile with my snare, I’m headed off in some direction to impregnate the mare, but the alpha has decided that her injury’s enticing, she is moving like a baby and nobody likes her writhing, she is obvious in seeming like she grew up in the suburbs, so brightly misplaced on the dance floor she gives me fucking sunburn. God this demon is strange, it conveys subtle inclinations to relapse into drug use and sexual possession intentions from across the room all pointed towards me, but the alpha picks up the woman and bites into her shoulder, and she conveys some unease but not that much unease, at least for now i can resist possessive demons, but it gets me claire left with alpha not me.
8.
I will always be there for you until hell freezes over and our hearts open to heaven and god cries ambrosia into our mouths and we float up to the sky holding hands for forever I will always be your brother and your guardian angel And when we’re at the pearly gates I want to give you a hair cut, so our final corporeal act is the loss of something cleansing, I wanna clean you in my vision and let my eyes be your reflection, Till you’re perfectly mine and I’m perfectly your’s If you want to die tonight I can go buy us some poison or we can take a bunch of Advil and stare at the ceiling, until the mantra finally makes sense and we drift off to lofty realms where we can maybe find each other in the ambiguous godliness of death If you still want to be my best friend just hit me up sometime and we’ll hang out
9.
If you suck my blood and you suck me dry completely I hope my life force is like heroin and puts the pleasure back in your veins If I never leave I can avoid all change and difference, I can sit inside my bedroom and avoid the loss by locking the door If we both become vampires we can live in bliss forever I hope the blood starvation hits us and we can hunt for new friends for days If I never sleep I can’t lose the things I dream about I don’t even feel embarrassed that I’m not sure what they are anymore if u take this blood I will be there for you for the rest of my life and even in death If the blood is for sport it does not make it less true it can curdle in our mouths as we lay in bed If you really think you can repel me with a bullet or a cross or my reflection you are fucking confused Overtime you crack me open and kiss me with your whole body something animal inside me is always amused If you fall on the cross I will bear it for you for the rest of my life and even in death There is no mistake or folly in the passionate relation that when things are only passion they are never of use
10.
the simple discussion permeates over your face like bones like a back brace taking long sips of velvet you’ve played out where things go Im so sorry that you missed out on the half of my life that’s had meaning but i wouldn’t change a thing I guess we’ve all got our demons but yours look like they’ve been though some real shit And I guess we’ve all got reasons but to me all of your’s just seem like they’re bullshit I guess that’s why I’m leaving post-`unique experience I feel like I can still feel things and mean things in empathy for others I’ve lacked but your shapes make no sense I guess we’ve all got our demons but yours look like they’ve been though some real shit And I guess we’ve all got reasons but I guess to me your’s just seem like they’re bullshit

about

All of these songs were recorded in place of taking pictures of the people that I love and the moments that we share.

credits

released June 15, 2016

All songs written and recorded by Paul
Mixing on God this Demon is Strange and Hanging Out by Jo
Special thanks to Jo, Chloe, Mom, Sky, Mia, Jack, D, Tucker, Claire, Sydney, Harrison, Jesse, Peter, Kohl, Jimmy, Jade, Lorn, August, Pearl, Jess, Joel, Jay, Becko, Carbon, and Dyl for the continued support, criticism, and for filling my life with experience that engenders creativity.

Recorded in 2016 at Grant's Haus

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